Half Pass Three

I woke up from my sleep

who is this girl i kissed

so passionately 

i hold her so tight

pressing against my chest

feel the rhythm of her breath

who says there are no faces in dreams

i see her so vivid

we touched, we hugged, we caressed, we kissed

i woke up from my sleep

who is this girl i kissed

so passionately

tight sealed lips

i felt cool thin air from her gasp as i sip

taste of philtre sweet

Regretting why i am not born an artist

forever in my dreams

in my dreams you will be

Tonight, half pass three

i will be waiting for you, asleep

-Winner 

My new song addiction

My new song addiction


You are too blind, because you are within.

How can we tell, we are both victims

"Let Her Go"

Well you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

Only hate the road when you’re missin' home

Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go

Staring at the bottom of your glass

Hoping one day you'll make a dream last

But dreams come slow and they go so fast

You see her when you close your eyes

Maybe one day you'll understand why

Everything you touch surely dies

But you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

Only hate the road when you're missin' home

Only know you love her when you let her go

Staring at the ceiling in the dark

Same old empty feeling in your heart

'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast

Well you see her when you fall asleep

But never to touch and never to keep

'Cause you loved her too much

And you dived too deep

Well you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

Only hate the road when you're missin' home

Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no)

And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no)

Will you let her go?

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

Only hate the road when you're missin' home

Only know you love her when you let her go

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

Only hate the road when you're missin' home

Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go

♫ 舊簡訊

那天
我從房間的垃圾堆裡
找到
曾與你頻繁通訊的手機
原來
你發的簡訊我沒有刪


2010年我問你什麼時候再愛上我
我忘了原來我還渴望你的愛
2010年你有了新戀情
我忘了原來我還有一點點在意

我細細的閱讀我們的對話
我找回一點點的我自己
我丟了這個雍兒
我去了哪裡
我去過哪裡
我在哪裡

記得你回來的那一次
你睡在我身旁
靜靜的睡着了
但你卻告訴我
你感受不到我

我害怕

我害怕你找不到我

我害怕我找不到我

我還是找不回我

♫ City Without Shadow

Take a step out to the city
I look at my beautiful shoes
I look beyond them
There is me
Standing on my feet

Sometimes I follow myself
Sometimes she follows me

She is my alter ego

Take one step out under the sun
I look behind me
Where am i?
Where are you?

I am lost
You are gone
I walk baby foot steps
Hoping
Waiting
Searching
Wandering

At times i wonder
I didn't bother to search
I walk without shadow

I was contented

At times i wonder
Why do i feel a hole in my heart
Something out there is waiting for me

I was confident

At times i wonder
I feel frustrated with nothing
Sense of belonging

I was confused

I live in a city where there are no shadows
I'm light weighted
I try so hard to stay on earth
As a person

The emptiness in my heart is filled with helium
Lifting me high up till i fear falling on my ass





Oh.... there you are! Where am i?

♫ Big Girls Don't Cry

Hang in there Winner,
Hang in there Winner.
One day you look back and you laugh at it.

Hang in there Winner,
You are strong. No! don't tell me you are not!
When things come falling and crashing on you. What do you do?
You avoid.

When there is a problem, an obstacle. Do you avoid?
No... You face it!

I'm confused.
Winner, hang in there. Big girls don't cry.
A winner doesn't cry.

♫ Smile for me will you

smile for me will you?

when i feel like crying, i look up to the sky

allowing the sting of sunlight pierce through my eyes

thinking that it will light up my heart 

where is so dark 

where i keep you in captivity

smile for me will you?

when i know is torturing, i look down and breathe

allowing the flow of air gushing down my chest

thinking that it is worth to stay

where is so psychedelic

where i keep you care in distress

it sets my nerves on ice 

knowing you struggle to love

smile for me will you?

if the smile only appears when

i reach my filthy hand into the darkness 

forcing you out from the beating rhythm which keeps me conscious 

my eyes immerse in burning stream

knowing you put yourself in extreme duress

smile for me will you?

if the smile only appears when

i hug you tight with my selfish arms

giving you no way out to the deserted dying world without my endless love

smile for me will you?

if i smile at you

with eyes and warmth filled with affection

Winner

written 1430 17072012

♫ Imagine

Imagine the heart dropping, free falling with high speed. Imagine the kiss so deep, destroying my reluctance. Imagine that's my heart, imagine that's your kiss. Imagine how deeply I fell in love with you. The one so beautiful who catches my breath each time I lay eyes on.

Written 180712 2316

WinnEr Chan

♫ Have you forgotten to love

it is hard for me.... to feel this.
it is harsh for me... to feel this.
it is hurtful for me... to feel this.

why is it so hard for you to show affection?
why is it so difficult for you to feel how i feel?
why is it so...

i was expecting you to be as loving. #disappointment

♫ 亲爱的 其实你不需要我

你的生活方式
你习惯了孤独
你不需要唠叨
你不需要关心
你不需要陪伴
你不需要我

你一个人过得很好

在你的生活里
我的存在价值
零

收回一点点对你的爱
收回一点点对你关怀
收回一点点给你的所有
保留一点点的你


或许你还没准备好
或许你还需要时间
或许你偶尔想念她
或许对你来说 她才是完美的
或许是我犯贱

如果你不需要我，请告诉我
我可以离开

如果她回你身边，请告诉我
我可以离开

爱不能强求
不是我给得太多
是你不需要任何
not from me at least.

Of all things, I just want to feel worthy.

你的呼吸 还有你的声音
你的呼吸 穿过身体 我来不及反应
你的声音 躲在耳里 让我生病
谢谢 你给的 让我沉迷 让我丢掉了姓名
在好奇的时候 拉不住眼睛
我想我不会爱你 这样下去
渺小的自尊 都快要抛弃
我想我不会爱你 只是也许
你的叹息 散落一地 让我歇斯底里
靠得太近 一不小心 弄伤自己
谢谢 你给的 让我沉迷 让我困住了自己
在迷路的时候 舍不得离去
我想我不会爱你 这样下去
渺小的自尊 都快要抛弃
我想我不会恨你 伤的痕迹
住在我心底 变成了秘密
我想我不会爱你 害怕失去
所以逞强的 远远看着你
我想我不会恨你 只是也许
我想我不会爱你 这样下去
渺小的自尊 都快要抛弃
我想我不会恨你 伤的痕迹
住在我心底 变成了秘密
我想我不会爱你 害怕失去
所以逞强的 远远看着你
我想我不会恨你 只是也许

Baby.... You Don't Need Your Body.

Baby Scorpie. 

You don't need your body anymore. 

Just follow the angels to the light.

We are placing it in a very safe and beautiful place. 

You will have friends around you.

Some kitties to chase around with.

You are a pretty girl.

RIP 

Scorpie

15th November 2003 - 20th March 2012

8 Years 4 Months 5 Days

Scorpie baby..
I remember you that small in my embrace when i brought you home.
you refused to sleep alone.
i put you in this huge box so you could sleep.
you cried, you scratched the box
i carried you out. placed you by my side.
covered you with my blanket.
you closed your eyes.


you are afraid of thunder, firecrackers, fireworks.
you shiver when you hear them.
but daddy never allowed you in the house.
instead, we closed the door so you couldn't come in.
I AM SORRY.


you like outdoor, run around, growling at cats.
we put a choke chain on you so you couldn't chase after cats.
we live in a condominuim, small place and get to walk about only when we bring you down to do business.
I AM SORRY.


we once put you at a friend's place.
we were too busy, no one could take care of you.
Miss Rottweiler bit you on your head, nearly blinded.
I AM SORRY.
(that was the first time i cried for you)


sometimes i am too tired, i came home and i ignored your greetings.
you still wiggled you fluffy tail and tried to lick me.
i pushed you away.
I AM SORRY.


sometimes i cry when i am sad,
and i sat beside you, you looked at me as if you understood my feelings
maybe you did.
THANK YOU.


I remember that Saturday morning, you started vomiting whatever you ate.
Just if i brought you to the vet earlier.
Just if the doctor did a scan on you earlier.
Just if everything was diagnosed earlier.
Just if you did not leave me.

You went for your first surgery, doctor asked us to be prepared.
(this was the second time i cried for you)

I felt reluctant to go see you.
i was selfish, i was afraid that once you see me you will leave peacefully and never gonna come back again.
I AM SORRY.
I know you were waiting for me.
I AM SORRY.

i finally went see you the next morning.
You looked so tired. You tried to stand and wiggle your tail.
i can see how hard you tried.
is ok baby, i know you are sick.

you refused to look at me when you failed to stand.

doctor had to feed you, cause you refuse to eat.

i can see how tired you are from your eyes

after forcing down food. you gained abit energy.

 

Maybe it is time for me to greet you and care for you unconditionally. Like how you always do. 

One Week After..... 

Doctor said your stomach is twisted and knotted. 

So you underwent a second surgery. 

which made you weaker. 

This is the last picture i took of you.

I know you can't take the pain no more. 

sorry for putting you through all these.

This is also the last time i see you breathing. 

Warm breathe and body.

I went to work.... 

I was really quiet...

I didnt feel good...

Evening... received a call.

Angels came yeah baby?  

Are they beautiful? 

You be good ok? Be happy. Wiggle your tail..

Run all you can in heaven. 

Leave your sick body. 

No more pain

No more suffer

Rest In Peace 

Scorpie 

15th Nov 2003 - 20 March 2012 

♫ Almost a month with the Red Darlings

I Came
I See
I Conquer

Remember the first time i step foot into RedRibbon Days' office,
really? I don't remember. ><
I forgot who open the door for me, i sat on the couch waiting...
Went into this very warm conference room, sat there quietly with all my documents.

Bomb
Guns
Grenade
M16
Pang! Piang! Pong!

End of interview___________________________

Next thing i heard is when can i start working?
Where i still  have to give my ex employer a 30 days notice for resigning.

Drama
Drama
Drama
Drama

Here I am.. and is 20 days already.
Things I love about RedRibbon Days

• It is Red
• We have lunch together
• We talk about end of the world
• Majority of us are potential pervert
• We stay in late in the office 
• The Red Balloons make me excited
• We have angry bird and totoro in the house

ME LOVE RRD

♫ Few days in Redribbon Days

Here I come....
i'm gonna stay for awhile(long while : D), simply because i like the idea of RRD.
The vibes i felt...... is COOL...
Gonna make this a happy place for me, for all...



ps: it is really RED here....

♫ Love is like a nonstop music track

verse.... bridge.... chorus... ending....
verse.... 2nd verse.... chorus...bridge....ending....
verse.... chorus....verse.... bridge.... ending...


it will just keep playing...
non stop playing...


some people might get bored and stop the music.

but some people just enjoy the music no matter how many times the same thing repeats.


love is not suppose to stop once it started.

♫ going down

life is about?
dying...
dad once asked me this.
tell me why are u here in this world? only one reason..
i gave a few logical reasons to live.

to succeed in life?
to do something meaningful?
to live life to the fullest?
to grow up?
to get married and get a life?


no no no no no
u are born to die...
THIS... is LOGIC

there will be highs and lows in life...
but they are not the reason u live for.

trick question (doesnt matter u die naturally, suicide, murdered etc)
why people die?

♥ 耳机

那天跟爸爸借了对无线耳机


周末在公司一个人的办公室
耳机好厉害
把音乐一声不漏的灌进我耳朵

原来现在的我变得好不感性
对着钢琴
抱着吉他
就是哼不出心里的旋律

旋律是种心情
唱出来的心情才会动听

有好清脆的吉他声
有好轻柔的好嗓音


原来现在的我
好像
似乎
或许

真的

长大一点点


有时候 会因为一个人的一句话 领悟
有时候 会因为一首歌一句歌词 沉默

♥ something new

i walk
i paused
i looked back
i kept walking
i saw you
i smiled
i turned back
i wiped my tears
i said


this is something new

♥ 聆听

抒情版的玛丽兄弟主题曲
你弹奏着
声声入耳
断续的奏完一曲

那套电影出现过的蝴蝶
在我眼前闪过

我喜欢爵士音乐里出现的不协调的音符
谁说旋律一定要是合旋？

2011 年似小偷地悄悄走过
带走我的一些稚气
带走你的一些伤悲
带走你的一些喜悦

不小心的留下成长的痕迹

♥ 哎哟 突然破掉了

没有情绪的歌
快乐时听是快乐的

泡泡真的破了
吹


不准哭泣的理由有很多
哭泣的理由有几个

快乐
感动
伤心
无助



语无伦次

哎哟，突然破掉了

不再可爱了

♥ 有些事情

陈 WinnEr 女 双鱼座
21岁 长不大的小孩
爱音乐

谁和我一样喜欢静静的歌曲 请爱我
谁和我一样爱唱伤心的情歌 请爱我
谁和我一样爱一个人唱ktv 请爱我
谁和我一样可以独自看电影 请爱我
谁和我一样思绪可以很孤僻 请爱我
谁可以看透我细腻的小小心 请爱我

原来星座是骗人的
原来我很好骗

世界还有很多自以为是的人

年纪大 就成熟
年纪小 就幼稚

我讨厌喋喋不休
我讨厌反复重提
我讨厌多管闲事



以为骑摩托车旅行就能变英雄
现在的我 失去了冲动

有才华的人唾弃金光闪闪的奖座