nothing like ɹǝuuıM: 8 Years 4 Months 5 Days

Scorpie baby..
I remember you that small in my embrace when i brought you home.
you refused to sleep alone.
i put you in this huge box so you could sleep.
you cried, you scratched the box
i carried you out. placed you by my side.
covered you with my blanket.
you closed your eyes.

you are afraid of thunder, firecrackers, fireworks.
you shiver when you hear them.
but daddy never allowed you in the house.
instead, we closed the door so you couldn't come in.
I AM SORRY.

you like outdoor, run around, growling at cats.
we put a choke chain on you so you couldn't chase after cats.
we live in a condominuim, small place and get to walk about only when we bring you down to do business.
I AM SORRY.

we once put you at a friend's place.
we were too busy, no one could take care of you.
Miss Rottweiler bit you on your head, nearly blinded.
I AM SORRY.
(that was the first time i cried for you)

sometimes i am too tired, i came home and i ignored your greetings.
you still wiggled you fluffy tail and tried to lick me.
i pushed you away.
I AM SORRY.

sometimes i cry when i am sad,
and i sat beside you, you looked at me as if you understood my feelings
maybe you did.
THANK YOU.

I remember that Saturday morning, you started vomiting whatever you ate.
Just if i brought you to the vet earlier.
Just if the doctor did a scan on you earlier.
Just if everything was diagnosed earlier.
Just if you did not leave me.

You went for your first surgery, doctor asked us to be prepared.
(this was the second time i cried for you)

I felt reluctant to go see you.
i was selfish, i was afraid that once you see me you will leave peacefully and never gonna come back again.
I AM SORRY.
I know you were waiting for me.
I AM SORRY.

i finally went see you the next morning.
You looked so tired. You tried to stand and wiggle your tail.
i can see how hard you tried.
is ok baby, i know you are sick.